February 6, 2012

Seeing is Deceiving

I don’t know who I am anymore

I keep bruising myself for more

As I look myself in the mirror

I found nothing but only the reflection of a greedy fool.

What is there that keeps my eyes blur?

I know I can see clearly

But are those the things that I’m looking for?

Everything and so much more?

Why am I doing this to myself?

To please myself, I guess.

“the one.. right.”

But I say that whenever I’m drunk

… when I see beauty or when my sexual advocate tells me so.

After that, when I get what I want…

it’ll be nothing once the moment passes.

I can be who I want to be

But I could never be me

(sigh) I left the real me in the closet of my upbringing

It’s really hard to follow myself

Because I’m afraid of losing

To be called a loser…

that’s why I choose and say “the one.. right.”

I do believe in myself

But the more I try, the less it is working

Oh, I can see alright

But all I can see are façades

I am easily overcome by whims and looks

It’s just that…

The thing is…

I am bothered of what I SEE rather than what I FEEL.

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