A Poor Soul's Past

'Twas the night of midsummer's season but the heat wasn't really getting into me. In fact, it was neither hot nor cold, the atmosphere was all too fine...
The fire was dancing; the fine dirty white smoke emitted by the burning wood gushed out from the chimney hastily. The shadows in the room seem to be joining the beat of it.
I was in a sofa, lying coolly but thinking deeply. I was in a supine position, my head on a cushion, left foot on a stool and the other huddled near my thigh; how soothing the feeling was. Even the warmth surrounding the place made me feel comfortable...
A thought just passed me. I could barely recall it, but the message was clear; I am a HYPOCRITE. I am living a life full of pretentious wonders. "Grow up!" I said to myself. My ego won't let me for he knows I'm too dependent. I may not understand why I'm fond of it but I know my capacity. My weakness is my ability not to control it.
I'm so broke!
My friends are the best; though many things had happened still I am thankful I met them. Sometimes, insecurity got the better of me. I felt unwanted, trashed, dumped, left behind, and unnoticed. I guess it's just a part of living, or may be a part of our arrogance.
I'm such a fool!
I love my family so much. The fact is, I think I'm the black sheep of the clan. For them, everything I do isn't good enough; they really love to compare! I hate it. I'm not yet accepted; I don't know where to start confessing although they already knew it. I wish they'll just let me be.
I'm so weak!
I am not a somebody nor a nobody. Why the hell am I contemplating all these things where in fact I'm not the only one whose got problems. I know that some people has problems far greater than I have. Why worry! (sigh)...

- Interview with a lonely Soul.