December 30, 2008

Rise of My Flock

I don't have any problem with them actually. In fact, I'm gay and I'm happy to know that they revealed their self being gay and all that. Philippines is soon to be the GAY capital of this world, hopefully not! the problem is, most gays prefer to be bisexuals but bisexual men stay as what they are. I hope that these gays would rather show the real deal of their self than to pretend.
Long live my precious!!!

December 26, 2008

Hair Faux Pa?

Look at me, my head is so shiny like a crystal ball shimmering under a light... (laughs)

Surprised? well, I'm not. This look is much better than before when I only had few hair on my head; my scalp, visibly seen amidst the clear and annoying array of my hair was so distracting.

Do I look like Boy Abunda? NOT! True, the complexion of my skin does matches his but I'm way too handsome to be compared. Oh! what about Lex Luther from Small ville? DEFINITELY! Regardless of our skin color, we do look alike. I'm handsome, his handsome, we are both pretty!

A friend claimed that I was a man of updates; in short, seasonal. The Autumn season was the most obvious, my hair started to fall badly that every day the irony of seeing 100 strands of hair falling was very stressful and not to mention a dreadful shock of shame. Winter shaved my hair yesterday and from the look of it the field was as clear as snow. Very evident that I no longer have hair. (sigh)

What a shock! haha! At least I don't have that kind of distorted shape for a skull.

I know it's funny to see my new do. Yet, I'm still beautiful even without embellishments. I'd rather prefer this bald statement than to go out with my previous hair looking like an old man with a terrible mane to post. For the record, this look is just temporary. My hair will grow soon, you'll see.


December 9, 2008

Knotted Hope

From the start, I already knew
That things will go smoothly and through
No matter how bitter it'll be
I will stay focus and relax as to forever free

Hardships in life may appear
Trials that come will surely disappear
Though little my strength is
but my powering endurance will never cease

I am vulnerable at heart
Feelings i have soar high above
And when laughter paints a thousand art
A gust of joy fills my soul with endless love.

- Francis Carl

It's Time to Wait

I have this kindling feeling all over me. I may not understand what this feeling means but I already have an idea that it is of good omen.

Days come and go, still I am in search of a love, a true love that is really meant for me. Though hard and nerve- breaking it may seem to wait but I know it's going to be worth it in the end.

When the time comes, my long wish of waiting in vain will all be over. I just hope that it will last for a lifetime. Nevertheless, I know that you're just out there waiting. We'll get there and when we do, I know that life is going to be beautiful.

The Pros and Cons of Self Destruction

Have you ever come to a point in your life that you want to die right away? or argue with your thought as to find the solution in every problem? well, i do. It's not a matter of quick thinking really. We have all the time to reflect, to see things in perspective. But are we sure of what we're thinking then?

There are a lot of interference in our life. Our self, a manifestation of light and darkness in the midst of every stroke we make in this mysterious world. Yes, it's really tough staying at a point where the least to expect is not an assurance in our will to accommodate. However, there are people who by mistake interprets their life as unknown or not fixed. These people are those who can hear but does not listen. Those who can see but never sees the real deal of it. Those who can speak but does not know how. Confusion is a game not to be tampered with, it's in our mind actually. Perhaps it is up to us and our will to create such notions of impending truth. Now, what is really in us that makes us formidable in every situation we are getting into?

We are what we are and we have our self to rely on. If we could just convince our self to see truth, then by all means the destruction is yet to come. In contrast, if we regard our self to the level of insanity and without intensive conformation, then consequences will rise and may provoke us to kill our self- being.

The pros and cons of self destruction are but a halfway nuisance in our life. It is not much of a choice but a conspiracy lay visible underneath our survival.

November 9, 2008

Happy Hatching Day...

The day I came to be...

November 8, 1988, my birthday. I turned 20 just yesterday, and it was very memorable. I was so happy that everyone greeted me and gave me gifts which I did not expect. Even before the day of my birthday, November 7, I was really looking forward to my birthday. I waited all night of course. I checked my phone from time to time to see who texted me with greetings and lovely messages. Well, everyone greeted me in advance but the first who greeted me was Gringo at exactly 12 midnight. Haha! i was very happy of course! so much!

Alas! Saturday has come, my hatching day. I was very happy to see that everyone including my family and friends greeted me. The day was fine of course and all was perfectly going well. My kariktan dance troupe family were all smiles, happy and gay! That morning also, the inbox of my phone got full of text messages which has birthday greetings on it coming from my classmates and friends. I was so very happy at that time. I feel so lucky that i have such good and loving families and friends to look up to. I will really cherish the moment i came to live in this world!

The celebration was not too much, at least everyone was present. We also planned to go bar hopping but it was cancelled due to minor problems so I just stayed at home and watched television all night. It was very sad that i didn't get to go out with my friends though my feelings were overwhelmed.

My day was as cool as ever! Thank you God for giving me such a wonderful day. It will always stay in my memory and will never fade. Thank you God, Mom, Pao, to all the Vicencio family, to my friends... Farnie, mia, eden, lyue, kinji, kitchie, all english majors... to Kristel, errol, choco, arzy, eurissa, Bryan, louie...

October 31, 2008

So Close

October 20, 2008. That night, I was asked by my mom to deliver a piece of fish and a pack of sausages for my dad so that he'll have dinner to eat for the night.

My dad, you see, he's now living in our farm lot. I don't know the reason why he preferred to live in a place so far from us. He's a very stubborn old man that's for sure.

I used our motorcycle for transport that evening. Of course, I do know a little about driving. It's really fun and cool when you know how to drive a motorcycle or a car you know. Once you get the hang of it, it'll be just a piece of cake. As for me, adrenaline rush got the better of me. I was totally nervous even at starting the engine. So, I drove off safely, easily and smoothly.
I arrived at dad's place and parked the motorcycle on the left side of the road. There parked a truck that was blocking the way in to his little hub. The vehicle was loaded with sacks of rice ready for delivery at a rice mill.

The workers were so busy loading the truck with sacks of rice so I went directly to the house and gave the food to my dad. After doing so, I then left and headed towards the motorcycle. At first I was bothered as to where am i going to move the motorcycle. I was so confused if whether I should turn the motorcycle back or just go straight forward, but I thought hesitantly so I started the engine and moved sideways to the right. I was also aware that I am not used in turning the motorcycle at the right but I hesitated and squeezed the handle carefully. Due to my nervousness, things got fast and I know for the fact that I am somewhat losing control. Then it got me, the vehicle went toward the irrigation canal. I didn't know what to do until I felt a force pushing me to jump; I squeezed the hand break but it didn't work, so I immediately threw myself and jumped. Luckily, I was able to balance my body and stood up straight. My left foot was aching but I did not show any reaction. My aunt and my dad came to the spot where I was so close to hurting myself. They were so angry and worried of what happened but I was too shocked to ease myself at the time being.

The motorcycle fell into the canal; my dad together with some workers helped in getting the vehicle out from the canal pit. I was trembling with fear and shock then i came to think how I manage to survived the accident. It happened so fast that I wasn't able to recall the event. I was so thankful that nothing bad happened to me. I thank God for that force that triggered me to jump for my life, It was then that I realized that our time being is only for the mean time and that we must be careful in everything we do. This was the very first time that it happened to me and I am thanking God for the guidance and protection he has for me.

October 25, 2008

The Stick and the Bottle

Glog, glog, glog, glog, glog. . .
Hsshhh. . . whooooshhhh. . .

Isa pa! hoy! Di mo inubos yang beer sa baso mo! Madaya ka! hmpf! One more bottle please... um, guys i think we're running out of beer, let's go for something hard! Don't forget the cigarette, OK?

Ah... Drinking beer and smoking cigarette is really something. One may rate this pleasure a little bit high. Some people drink and smoke because they want to feel good. Some do this because they want to relax or escape from the hustle of life's beauty. Some, when they're lonely or heartbroken, they drink to the last drop and smoke so that the pain in their heart will go away. Bet you didn't know that too much of this may also lead to death. As for me, yes, i drink and smoke but not to the full extent that I'm going to ruin my dreams all because of this. I only drink and smoke occasionally. People who threw their life with these vices end up getting hurt. For some reason, on my own account, drinking and smoking lets you reunite with your friends or barkadas and build dreams out of thin sheer imaginations, weird isn't it?

Now, I'm just a socialite who knows better than to deal with such vices. It's very hard to quit though, but try at least.

Alcohol intake won't do you any better, but I'm sure it'll take you high! Oh nicotine, you're so addictive i could not cut the habit concerning you. Why do i bother myself troubling the likes of you things? Although, you two are my partners in every crime, still, why can't the cops capture a boy like me? Too ironic, isn't it? But why do some people like you so much as if they are tied behind your back? You are really that addictive to us, aren't you? Nevertheless, the answer lies to those who know you better more than i do. But i have one question though, is it necessary to drink alcohol or sniff the smoke of nicotine?

October 18, 2008

Self- Reliance

Believing in yourself is what really counts. Most people don't know about this. By believing that you yourself can make it, there's no doubt that one can grasp the fulfillment of every craving. Let us console ourselves for every thing that we do is a product of our own sweat and hard work. Anything is possible if we just surrender to our own simple appraisal.

Self- reliance is the valuing of one's worth and capabilities. It is said in the text that "discontent is the want of self- reliance" which is to do more and don't mind what others might say or think.
Being able to do everything in our own desire is already a fulfillment. When we put our work in our heart, we accept whatever mistakes we do and we are open for any changes. Thus, by trusting thyself, the deliverance of our effort is in our hands to critic.
We based our potentials to our capability of producing outcomes which we think is good enough, but even if the output is a waste, still, we should appreciate every bit of art we make.
Sure enough that envy is there lurking upon our midst but never should we imitate to correct our errors because every piece is a work of art no matter how trash- looking it may seem.
Our intention to rely resides on the spontaneous impression of our well- being. It is in the very fabric of our thought that by doing something in our own accord reduces the feeling of anxiety. Therefore, it is in our own conviction not to withdraw but pursue what we think is worth striving for. Never mind what others will say for they doesn't know what perfection is like.
We rely on our self because we trust our self; our self confidence empowers us to defy the odds, thus giving our attitude a boost to discover the vastness of the unknown.

The majestic flow of our will power is the mainstream of our diction. Self- reliance is just another alarm to awaken our mind and that we need not to conform others because our mind speaks the truth. The reason for all of this is that we want to discover more of our nature, manner, and action. It is also to redeem our weakness and strength as we follow our own path. Moreover, Self- reliance defines our character differently.

October 9, 2008

WHAT IF. . .

As i was in deep thought of wondering beyond myself, my mind and body, i came to imagine things from which i would say what if...

What if i was never born, will i be able to see the magnificent extravagance of planet earth?

What if i have no name, will be able to hear someone say Francis?

What if i ave no family, will i reach this kind of life i have right now?

What if I'm not studying, will i be able to write all of these?

What if i continued to study nursing, would i have known better my career?

What if i will be an astronaut, will i be able to teach children the wisdom i possess?

What if i won the lottery?

What if I'm a multi- billionaire, will i spend my money on greater things?

What if i own a very fancy restaurant, a cafe, or a resort, but will these leisure's add to my satisfaction?

What if I'm an actor, will i be able to grab shinning shimmering trophies?

What if my name is on the walk of fame in Hollywood, will Julia Roberts step on it?

What if i have a time machine, will i go back time to change the ways i incurred?

What if i have supernatural powers, will i be able to do unimaginable things?

What if... what if I'm a girl, will i be stuck like this forever?

What if I'm wearing a bra tonight, will my boobs boost?

What if i die right now, will my love ones mourn of their loss?

What if my father was not a soldier, will i live a life of harmony?

What if i know all of the martial arts, am i going to challenge Jackie Chan and Jet Li?

What if i can fly, will i chase the airplanes, the Philippine Airlines?

What if there's a flood, will i swim to ease the tension coming out from me?

What if i never met that person, will i be this mature to go on my own way?

What if we never met, will i get all the chance to stay forever in this world with you?

September 25, 2008

The Thorn In My Sleeve

"The good of every desire is not to be tampered with one that has such a black pitiful soul."

Yes, she is the flaw in every account that i have. I didn't know that she was lurking around the bush unnoticed. She was all smile at first, good and hardly traceable. So hard to believe that she peeled off right before and behind me, not knowing that in her hand, that dagger she holds, so sharp and sleek, was about to be plunged right through my heart.

Regardless of what she attained, still, she's one hell of a thorn in my sleeve! If only she had think that what she's done was of great evil.

It has been 8 months or so. I'm still troubled of those hoax she made. Man! she made me look stupid in the eyes of our relatives as if i am this malevolent in nature. I couldn't help but think what her purpose was. "It's for your own good," Kristin Val said. How can it help me if those people whom you gossip with only shows affectionate compassion? tsk, tsk, tsk!

Poor you, why are you doing this? Do you have a grudge on me? Don't you know that the more you will keep on doing this, the more i will think that your a lousy good for nothing conniving snake?! I pity your soul, you're just another foul play to our kind.

To all of us, beware and be alert of a person whom you know is good, especially if that person is a blood relative of yours. She's maybe in disguise but don't fool yourself of what she might do. Remember that a beast will always be a beast no matter how good she cleans up her act, the stain will still remain and will never fade.

September 23, 2008

La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful)

I think the most meaningful films to watch are those of small European movies that allow us to get involved with a single person or family in their town or village and let us observe up close the impact of evil on people we have come to genuinely care about.
Life is Beautiful, an Italian movie, written, directed by and starring Roberto Benigni, is a movie blended with a bit of comedy and wrenching sorrow resulting from the deportation of Jews from the concentration camps.

This movie is divided into two main parts, the first featuring the charming, romantic buffoonery of Guido Orefice, who has come to work as a waiter in his uncle's fancy hotel. In this first part of the movie, the music and the tune of every scene seem to be going in accordance to the settings, making it more carefree and vibrant as Guido's joke scenes coincide with the music. The lighting is in its full peak as though every scene is filled with laughter and joy.

Guido Orefice, a seemingly intelligent man is a character full of jokes and silly doings such as stealing other guy's hats, and later pretended to be an inspector of a school while dressed only in his underwear. He sets his romantic sights on the pretty school teacher Dora, a beautiful and gentle woman of a local upper crust. Guido saves Dora from her rude and loud fiance.

After all of the funny romantic stuff, the music and the mood changed into somewhat heavy falls of rain and strong beat of drums. The film then jumps ahead five years or so, assuming their marriage with the appearance of a young son named Joshua, an adorable little kid who's innocence gave him the protection he ever needed. By the time the Nazis, brutal and cruel soldiers, occupied the town and begun to harass Jews, including posting signs on non- Jewish shops saying "no Jews or dogs allowed." The little boy wonders and so, Guido invents a false answer and thus begins a pattern of creative deception to shield the child from the ugly reality.

The second part of the movie started on the day of Joshua's birthday party, Guido and the boy were taken off by the Nazis along with all the Jews of the town. The confused little boy then asked queries from his dad, Guido answers by pretending the entire thing is a game and the goal is to follow papa's rules and win points. It worked, the boy liked the game.

The film then shifted the whole story to the little boy's point of view when Guido and the boy entered the concentration camp. The thing was that it's all just a game and by playing on papa's rule, the boy will win points and a genuine tank.

The daily life and death game continues as Guido performs as a slave labor while his son hides out in the men's barracks while somehow learning that kids are being "cooked" in ovens in the camp.

The day arrived when soldiers here and there scattering everywhere, killing inmates to lessen the number of burden and abandon the place with the evacuees. That day was the end of the game, Joshua hid in a box where his father put him and Guido died when one of the soldiers escorted him and then shot him in an attempt to escape.

The film is a violence free movie and has enough light comedy to keep the children interested when watching this film. It also provides a meaningful dramatic experience. The film projects that the love and sacrifice of a father for a son makes "life is beautiful" worthwhile. Thus, strongly suggest this saying "protect what is beautiful from them."

Happiness, Sadness, and the Storm

Happiness, a vivid state of delight were one person feels every time he accomplishes something whether good or bad. When i am happy, i sometimes jump and scream at the top of my lungs. I can't even explain the emotion why I am overjoyed, feeling carefree. It seems like riding on a cloud and all the burden just fades away. A feeling of satisfaction, calm storm, a remedy to pain, a light to the heart. Happiness erases worry, changing it to joy, lighting up gloomy days, each face a glimpse of heaven.
In contrast, sadness is a storm, leaving nothing, destroying everything, inescapable. Providing false hope that hinders life, a pain too much to bear.

Thunders, lightnings, strong wind and droplets of rain stormed the boy's mind. He came back home after school. In his room, he tried to think what was causing him from doubting what his personality is. He never felt so troubled until later that afternoon where he saw a guy just about his age, so manly, the body was well built. The face kept haunting him as if the man wanted to eat the boy. He was never sure then of whom he saw, for him it was all blurry. He then fetch a glass of water and suddenly a knock on the door jolted him. He opened the door slowly and just as he's about to say something, his face shocked with delight and amusement. The man he saw that afternoon was standing right before him and the next thing he knew, the man hugged him like a gift wrapper, so tight that he screamed with joy. It was actually his long lost friend from their hometown which he never recognized for a long time.

September 17, 2008

Tinalak Festival

Whenever there's a festival, everyone is excited to go strolling, eat whatever they could along the street in every food stand and everyone is eager to see beautiful sights, lantern display and bands playing in some area. Everywhere is decorated capturing everybody's attention.

T'nalak Festival is a one of a kind festivity celebrated every 11th to 18th of July, T'nalak reigns to be luxurious. the celebration provides different events everyday and night. poeple all around the vicinity of Marbel come and go. Alunan Avenue, infultrated with diffferent faces filled up as the night goes. People push and pull every person they encounter just to get through. Never was it foretold that this year's T'nalak festival was going to be this overcrowded.

Nonetheless, the fireworks did it all, it ease everyone's sweat and rushed feelings. Like a flower enjoying a cold night zypher.

September 10, 2008

Betrayed Over Non- Factual Remedy

"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness."- Ayn Rand

Betrayal is a thing that can really cut you deep. Until now, I feel so upset that a blood relative of mine crushed my whole dignity as if i was a criminal of some kind. It really saddens me and got the inside pit of me, my ego, to revolt and have revenge!

The whole thing was nothing really, It was res
olved long before she graduated from college. She started the war when she went to Luzon to visit our relatives in Nueva Ecija. Sources told me that she was telling all sorts of cock and bull stories about me when i was still in Davao. She started the gossip from person to person until one of my sources found out from a relative that she has been talking about it since yesterday. It was a shock for me when my sources told me all about it. I was going nuts and ready to strike back and give her the hell out of me!

I really don't know the reason why she has done such a thing that would wreck my dignity and personality to our clan. After all we've been through, and now this? oh my, it's like she's trying to suck confidence and trust out from our family. She did
not even took noticed of what would i have felt. It's a shame though, trying to compete over nothing? tsk tsk! oh! She betrayed me alright! She ruined the trust i have for her. Tsk, tsk, not to mention that she's my cousin, a part of my blood. The BAD BLOOD to her dad, her siblings... in my body, soul and in my name, VICENCIO.

Years may pass, but i don't think forgiveness will do. Although I am open about it, still, the horror will stay and will get stuck in my mind for eternity. The whole thing changed me and it made a mark on myself. A mark that will never be erased even time cannot heal. I also presumed that she is guilty of what she's done, she can't come to me straight, she's just ignoring every cite of my face. I think she's afraid that i 'm going to hit her. I think she's afraid to confess. And for the record, all of us know what your personality is like and none in our family likes you for that attitude!!!

KRISTIN VAL DEMOCRITO VICENCIO... please try to act your age. You're giving me problems, low and very reasonable, not to mention RESOLVED problems! You may have stepped on me but I will rise and i will get you for good! You'd better shape up 'cause no one in our family liked the way you're treating us. Be aware of who you are dealing with, fcuk!