My Misery

January 19, 2009. It was that very first day of the week before the midterm examination when I was feeling depressed and weak. Before I went to school I was already crying.
All the pressure went straight to my heart. I could not take it much longer, I exploded. Tears began to fall and there was nothing I could do 'coz the pain cut me deep, too deep that I forgot about my 7:30am class.
I went to school sobbing, my eyes were bulging and red. I wasn't paying any attention in my R.E. subject, I was so preoccupied with what I'm feeling that time not until the 8:30 class. I was finishing my write- ups and sources and when i was done, I rested for a while. There it was, my heart started to ache emotionally. I knew I was going to cry so I told my teacher if I could go out. She said yes, so I immediately went off. While walking, I wasn't able to take hold of my feeling that in a second I burst into tears. Watery eyed, a friend called, it was my best friend Diza. I ignored her but she seemed to noticed that I was crying. She followed me at the comfort room, she waited for me outside. I was already crying hard when I came to her. She comforted me and patted my back for relief. But I could not stop crying because all the problems, the hurt, the nag, financial crisis, and family problem came out. All of it made me lose my state- being. I cried and cried until my eyes soared and appeared puffy. In my head, I told myself to give- up but I was to weak to do so.
I was so angry yet sad of the things happening to me. I did not understand of all the people, why me? So I came to think that maybe it's all just a part of my journey. The way I'm going through is too steep and rigid. A path where I had to play the one being bullied, being the miserable. But nothing will stop me here.
I will go on...
I'll come through...